Passion. Back in the day, I had oodles of it. Truckloads, in fact. I have a whole livejournal’s worth of crazy, intense, high-school-youth-group passion with a capital P. Things used to burn in me, so crazily that I couldn’t be silent (though honestly, probably half the time I should have kept my damn mouth shut and not typed a single word).
Okay, so, passion fell by the wayside awhile ago. Somewhere in the midst of finding the man of my dreams, getting married, buying the house of my dreams – I stopped living. Crazy that with getting all the things I could ever dream of, MORE than I could dream of, I completely lost touch with feeling anything. This thing, whatever I’ve been doing – it is not life. It is not intentional. It is not emotional. It is not much of anything.
So writing this is something – a confession? A hope for something more than what has been over these past months? Right now, typing up crazy things at 3 a.m. (which I will post at a more reasonable hour today, when I actually have internet access), I am just thrilled to be feeling something beyond incredulity over what Serena said to Blair on Gossip Girl.
So, I drove to McDonalds in the middle of the night (my husband will be up in 3 hours for work) because I got all fired up about something. Factory farming animal abuses, to be specific, but more on that later. The point is that this week, a fire has been rekindled. And I can praise the Lord because all true passion is from Him. So there is a fire now, a fire to try to love Creation a little more each day. A fire to get off my couch and get to living.
Passion is back and I sure hope it is back to stay. Can I get an Amen up in here?!