Reflections on the Slaughter of a Favorite Hen

Yesterday we said goodbye to Ruby, our Rhode Island Red hen. She's an old bird with a lot of personality and has always been our favorite hen: independent, feisty, plucky, the boss lady of the flock. From the moment we got our first chickens about two and a half years ago, we knew this day would come. Chickens don't consistently lay forever; once they hit a certain age they go through a kind of menopause and don't produce eggs as regularly. We were able to sell our younger hens, but Ruby is a year older than them and no one wanted to purchase her. We knew what that meant we had to do.

Josh handled the processing while I puttered around the kitchen trying to avoid an emotional breakdown by not thinking about what was about to happen, but I glanced out the window just as Josh walked through the backyard, gently carrying Ruby in his arms to the slaughter location. I know death is quick with a sharp scalpel, over in a matter of seconds, almost painless to the chicken, but I dissolved into tears when I saw our perky feisty bird going quietly to her death.

Possibly the hardest part of farming with livestock is getting to know the creatures you will eventually be eating. Maybe it's easier on a large commercial farm, but here we've got so few animals and interact with each so regularly that we get to see personalities and quirks of each animal. There is no emotional distance when you feed, hold, and care for an animal daily. Your heart becomes entangled with theirs as their wellbeing is so important to your own. When our animals suffer, we suffer. When they are content and healthy, we are happy. We laugh at their antics and rejoice in their good health. We are privileged to care for them and live side by side with them.

I am grateful for the life we've given Ruby and all our hens, a natural life filled with roaming the pasture foraging for clover and insects, taking dust baths, resting in the shade during the heat of the day, and coming back to roost in the coop at dusk. Yet as I rejoice in the life we're blessed to give our livestock, I am also reminded that it is a privilege for us to be able to give our animals a last parting gift in the slaughter process. When we intentionally end the life of one of our animals we do all we can to ensure that death comes swiftly, quietly, painlessly, and without fear or stress. This is more than can be said for death in commercial slaughterhouses, places filled with the smell of blood, an undercurrent of fear, loud noises, terrified animals. Whether in a commercial slaughterhouse or here on our small farm, death is never easy or pretty, yet I do believe it can be handled with dignity and in a way that honors the animal that is being killed.

I've been eating more meat outside our home since getting pregnant, excusing my choice by telling myself I need more protein. That excuse seems flimsy when I think of all I know about factory farming and the processing that occurs in commercial slaughterhouses. I feel there is an emotional toll taken every time I consume meat that has not been raised with the animal's wellbeing in mind. I can never eat that meat with a clear conscience; it is always haunting me even as I attempt to smother my moral qualms.

I've written impassioned views on wanting all of mankind to see the suffering of factory farmed animals and rise up in arms about it, but what I'm seeing so clearly now is how much it harms me personally to be complicit in the factory farming system. The only time my passion wavers is when I crave a specific food item and choose to ignore my morals in order to satiate my craving. Every time I do that I am indulging in my senses rather than in my morals and it chips away at something in my soul.

When I consume factory-raised farm animals I purposefully ignore their suffering and it makes it that much easier to ignore, justify, or turn away from any kind of suffering in the world. I don't want my soul to become calloused in that way. The life of a chicken may seem insignificant in the face of all the human suffering that is in the world, but if my heart is calloused rather than tender than I cannot respond appropriately when I see human suffering.

It is said that sociopathic individuals first show their lack of empathy through cruelty towards animals, which often later progresses into harming humans. Engaging in cruelty, whether explicit or complicit, has its consequences on the heart and soul.

As I wrestle with the issue of us slaughtering our livestock and what that means to me emotionally and morally, I see that my grief over the loss of a hen is both healthy and morally necessary, a vital reminder of the importance of each life. It will never be easy to slaughter an animal we have cared for and I believe that is how it should be.  Life, whether human or animal, is not meant to be meaningless. Life is precious no matter what creature it inhabits. It is a force to be honored and respected.

Sometimes in this farm business I find myself wishing I could be more numb, to care less about my animals. Yet Jonathan Safran Foer writes, "You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness." And it is true, the sadness of animal slaughter is tempered with a great sense of fulfillment and even joy. Caring for livestock is a wonderful privilege and one we take pride in.

Today as I mourn the death of a hen that I loved, I'm reminded of how I want to live and eat. I want to consume food with my emotions fully engaged and my brain active and aware. I want to be able to truly enjoy what I eat and that means eating knowledgeably rather than in chosen ignorance. I've found there is something different about eating food that is produced here on our farm. All my emotions and senses are fully engaged when I eat a hearty meal of lamb chops from our own lambs, when I eat chicken and dumplings from our own chickens, when I eat mashed potatoes and sautéed green beans from our own garden. I feel a joy and pleasure that goes deeper than my tastebuds. I'm satiated both sensorily and soulfully. I can rejoice in the sweat and tears that has gone into the meal.

I want my soul to be enriched when I eat, to be made larger rather than depleted by my culinary choices. I am grateful to Ruby for the life-force she has given for us and for the privilege of getting to care for her. I am grateful to be reminded that life is precious and meant to be honored and that I have the great privilege to do so every time I choose what I will eat.

Turkeys: The Slaughter Gone Awry

Y'all, I'm not going to lie. This story is not for the faint of heart. It is a story of a turkey slaughter gone awry. It is a story about an event that traumatized me for about three days... then I started thinking it was pretty hilarious and definitely a big learning experience. Read on, if you want to hear a traumatizing yet funny story. Read on, if you can handle a lot of all caps, because I don't think I can restrain myself when it comes to this particular story.

Neither of us had ever killed any poultry before but I had watched Farmer Stacy kill chickens so I had the gist of how it was supposed to go. Both of us had watched multiple videos on youtube to prepare ourselves for how to do the deed. We were fairly confident that we could do it well.

Several factors conspired against us (the sun had just set so we didn't have full light, the plank we hung the turkey's feet from wasn't high enough so his head was touching the ground, the knives weren't as sharp as we thought they were) and, suffice it to say, the turkey slaughter DID NOT GO AS PLANNED. Not even a little.

From the start I was worried about the conspiring factors and mentioned to Josh that I would prefer to do it the next day. Josh, however, had been amping himself up all day and was mentally prepared to kill these turkeys. He thought that my protestations were panic, that I was trying to back out of the whole thing. He pressed forward and ignored what I was squawking about. He was just trying to do his manly duty of getting the job done.

We proceeded with the initial set up. Picture this: I am hugging the turkey, which has been hung upside down by his feet. The thought behind this was to prevent him from flailing around when his nervous system went into its death throes. So I am hugging the turkey, watching Josh try to cut its throat... and it isn't going well. What is supposed to be one clean slice across the jugular, resulting in a quick and humane death and a giant spurt of blood, is instead... sawing. And sawing. And SAWING. With a knife that is FOR SURE not sharp, not even a little.

This is the point where I really DO start to panic, screaming things such as, "IT'S NOT RIGHT!" and "THERE ISN'T ENOUGH BLOOD!!!" at Josh, who is just trying to kill this dang turkey already. All the while I am hugging that turkey like my life depends on it, just trying to not run off around the field screaming.

After a few minutes we step back and look at the turkey. Not much blood, but it's not really moving around. Josh asks, "Is it dead?" and I angrily reply, "I GUESS SO" and go get the other turkey. I am furious at this point, saying plenty of mean things to my poor husband who had just tried to do his best at something he'd never done before.

I come back across the field, lugging the very heavy second turkey upside down by his feet when I noticed the first turkey had fallen off the plank it was hanging from. I said something to Josh, and as he turned around to look at it... THE TURKEY SAT UP. With a big gory hole on one side of his neck, dripping blood. HE SAT UP AND LOOKED AT US. And then, my friends. Then I lost my shit. Started screaming even more at my poor husband, who was rooted to the spot with shock.

I dropped the turkey I was holding, ran to entice him back into his pen with food, and ran back to help Josh hang up the first turkey AGAIN to cut his neck AGAIN. This time, mercifully, though it was almost totally dark by then, Josh cut the right place and we could hear blood gushing out. The turkey was done with his death throes within a couple of minutes and it was very obvious that he was dead this time.

Poor Josh, at this point I stomped off and left him to do the processing himself. He did a great job, despite the dark, and within a couple hours the turkey was looking like what you'd get at the grocery store. Maggie was fascinated with the process (though we had her stay inside during the killing part) - she had a moment of being sad for the turkey's death (upon seeing him dead she said, "Oh! I liked that turkey!") but was very curious about seeing his organs. Josh pulled out the heart to show her and she asked, "Is that where Jesus lives?" to which we said, "Ummmm... not quite!"

Looking back now, this story is pretty funny but also sad. It took me quite awhile, and a conversation with a sympathetic friend, to calm down enough to talk to Josh about what went wrong. It seemed like something out of an awful indie black comedy movie.

Am I glad that we killed our own turkey for Thanksgiving? Absolutely, no doubt.  Although round one went fairly awfully, we realized that our turkeys still lived a hugely better life than their factory farmed counterparts and even the turkey's death was likely more humane than the horrible things that happen in poultry processing factories. I've heard some awful stories about those places. At least we had good intentions - and we learned for the future! Turkey #2 (the bronze one) was processed by Josh and his brother Jeremy, using specific poultry killing knives, and it was very quick and humane. All a part of the learning process of being a farmer.

RIP turkeys. Thanks for being so tasty.

Turkeys, Y'all: Part One

As part of our commitment to consuming only meat that we know has been raised and killed in an ethical way, Josh and I have talked a lot about the goal of raising our own animals for meat and what that will entail. We're a ways off from being able to keep cattle, but pigs may be an option at some point and rabbits may be an option even sooner. This week we took a somewhat unexpected stride forward into learning to provide our own meat.

We're both in the habit of browsing craigslist fairly regularly, particularly the Farm and Garden section. Josh's consistent browsing is what got us an incredible deal ($35!!!) on a chicken coop plus two Rhode Island Red hens. This weekend I was poking around and came across a lady who was selling two turkeys for the amazing price of $15 each. We knew we both needed some experience processing (i.e. slaughtering and preparing the meat of) animals and this seemed like a good opportunity.

We have had issues with buying animals off craigslist before (our poor Silkies, RIP) so this time I went into it knowing that I'd have to back out of the sale if I got a bad feeling about the folks we were buying them from or the environment they were kept in (which I had felt the last time, with the Silkies). Before heading to see the turkeys I got some great advice from my friends Elizabeth and John from JEM Farm in Knoxville, who raise organic poultry (among other things!) and told me what to look for in a healthy bird. It's always good to check in with someone who knows what they're talking about.

 I figured from talking to the lady on the phone that the folks who raised the turkeys were good ol' country folks - not ones who would raise a turkey pastured on organic feed, but ones who would take decent care of it. Nothing worried me about the turkeys' environment when I arrived at the house. They had a good-sized dirt "run" surrounded with fencing where they were walking around freely. Both turkeys looked alert and healthy... and BIG. I'm used to being around 5 pound chickens, so to be around these huge, 20 pound, three-foot-tall turkeys was an adjustment.

The turkeys were caught and caged with hardly any trouble and they seemed fine with riding in the back of the truck in a dog crate. They are now happily contained in Josh's "chicken trampoline" creation, a building project he is pretty proud of (it's an old trampoline frame he got for free, plus a bunch of netting, hardware wire, tarps, and a makeshift wooden door).

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised at how well the trampoline is working out -- and the turkeys are ECSTATIC over being on fresh grass.  I don't think I've been around many turkeys and Maggie had never been around any. We have all been very entertained by them already. They are so different from chickens in their mannerisms and make the CRAZIEST noises. It's almost like chortling. Farming is fun - even if we know (and have even talked to Maggie about) what the end fate of these birds will be.

How to Save Money on Ethical Meat

I wanted to follow up last week's post about why we no longer eat factory produced meat with a sort of "how to" if you are considering making the change to consuming what we call "happy meat." Switching to a diet that focuses on ethically raised meats isn't as tricky as it might seem -- or as expensive as it sounds. Our grocery budget for three people is about $85 a week and we only consume "happy" animal products (meat, dairy, eggs). Here are some basic tips for eating ethical meat on a budget.

1. Buy local.

When I started doing the research, I was amazed by the abundance of farms within a 100 mile radius that raised pastured livestock. It makes sense though; any time you drive into the Alabama countryside you see cattle cattle and more cattle.

Last month we purchased 1/2 a Berkshire hog from DW Farms in Pulaski, Tennessee, about a 20 minute drive from our house. A half a hog equalled about 150 pounds, which was about three paper grocery bags full. We got a slight discount and the meat came to $3 per pound. We had purchased a chest freezer from craigslist months earlier... only to realize that we could have fit our pig into the regular freezer. No matter, the chest freezer will be necessary in the fall, when we will receive 1/4 of beef from Dove Farm, located near Huntsville.

Some farms have meat CSAs which are catered towards folks who may not have access to large amounts of freezer storage space and can only get small amounts at a time. I worked for West Wind Farms for awhile; they offer a customizable meat CSA throughout Tennessee which is a bit pricey, but has top-quality products. Their farm also accepts EBT credit - something I very much appreciated during my time using food stamps.

There are other meat CSAs I've heard of that are a little more cost-efficient as well. If you're interested and need help finding one, I'd be glad to be of assistance!


2. Adjust your expectations.

If you have your heart set on buying only chicken breast meat, you will be disappointed.

One of the best ways to save money on ethical meat in the supermarket is to consider cuts that you haven't used before. Until this year, I hadn't cooked any chicken meat other than boneless skinless breasts. Since last fall, I began using other cuts. Chicken thighs are only $3/lb and are delicious in pasta meals. Roast chicken is WAY easy - who knew? - and averages about $3/lb - and tastes phenomenally better than any store rotisserie chicken.


3. Know the labels.

Labels are extremely deceptive these days. Finding meat labeled "All Natural" means absolutely nothing, other than that you won't likely find plastic inside it.

Egg labels are especially tricky. It makes me sad when I see people buying "Cage Free" eggs -- I know they mean very well and are trying to make an effort to purchase something better, but in actuality Cage Free laying hens get the same cramped quarters as caged hens. With eggs, you want to look for pastured or free range.

If you want to buy happy animal products, look for the Animal Welfare Approved stamp. This organization has "the most rigorous standards for farm animal welfare currently in use by any United States organization." Springer Mountain Farms, which is carried in Publix and many other grocery stores (they even have it at Waffle House!) provides AWA chicken products at reasonable prices.

If you're looking for beef, products labeled grass-fed are a good bet, being highly indicative that the animal has lived a good life on pasture.


4. Eat less.

The simple truth is that most families will have a tricky time covering the cost for ethically raised meat if they are eating meat with every meal. We are on a very tight food budget that makes it impossible to eat meat with every meal. Luckily, I've had good experience learning to cook delicious vegetarian food from scratch. Since making the switch to ethical meat, we've cut back our dinnertime meat consumption to more like 3 times a week instead of 7. 


I hope this is a helpful how-to overview. I'd be happy to answer any questions!




[pastured pigs image from farmlandlp.com]

Real Food Pledge: Week 2 & 3

After being without air in our house for close to two weeks during a record-breaking heat spike, we are so thankful to have the air working, thanks to a patch on the old unit. We'll have a new unit installed on Wednesday. Hopefully this will mean that we will be able to gloriously bask in chilled drafts for many years to come without having to put any more money into it. 

Now it is time to get back to business: The Business of Real Food. Last week we decided to forego the challenge of Real Food in exchange for the challenge of Coping with No A/C - a fair trade, wouldn't you say? 

Thankfully we did not actually have to live in our house while the air was out, but instead turned into nomads, staying at Josh's dad's house and my parents' house and driving home daily to make sure the animals were all fine and dandy. The animals, strangely, seem relatively unaffected by the heat - not that we're complaining, since I've heard of several chicken fatalities this week and am thankful all of our seven ladies are still in the land of the living.

Okay, so back to Real Food. This week we will be doubling up on the Challenge so we don't fall behind in the schedule that we're following with Julie's family.

The Real Food Challenges we will be facing this week:

1. Only "real beverages" can be consumed: water, coffee, tea, and milk (only naturally sweetened with a little honey or 100% pure maple syrup). One cup of juice will be allowed throughout the week. Wine (preferably red) will be allowed in moderation (one drink per day).

2. All meat consumed this week will be locally raised (within 100-miles of your hometown). Meat consumption will also be limited to 3 – 4 servings this week, and when it is eaten meat will not be presented as the “focal point” of the meal. Instead meat will be treated as a side item or simply used to help flavor a dish.

< white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">In addition to this, we will be attempting to keep up with the challenge from Week 1 to consume 2 fruits and / or veggies per meal. All three of us are actually enjoying this part, surprisingly!

I think the real beverage challenge will be pretty simple if we take it easy on eating in restaurants. The only thing we drink at home is water and milk/almond milk, plus I'll have a cup of coffee with cream and sugar maybe once or twice a week. It's when we go out that we order Dr. Pepper (me), sweet tea (Josh), and pink lemonade (Mags).

The meat challenge should be pretty simple as well. From 2010-2011 I spent six months as a vegetarian, both to prove to myself that I could do it and also to reduce my mental need for meat. After those six months I transitioned to consuming only meat that was produced using ethical methods, mainly sticking with locally raised products.

 When I started dating Josh, my ethical meat stance fell by the wayside (I was maybe too lovestruck to care right then?), but lately I have been extremely convicted to take up that lifestyle again (perhaps you came across my late night Facebook rant about it... more on this to come). The transition hasn't happened instantly. We still give in and go out to eat wings occasionally, but our family is moving in the right direction. This week I'm excited to take a more vegetarian focus in most of our meals and revisit some delicious recipes that I discovered during my vegetarian time.

Some things we will eat this week:

Red Lentil Soup with Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Tofu and Black Bean Soft Tacos

Vegetable Korma with Homemade Naan

Earth Fare Vegetarian Pizza with garden salad

Beef and Mushroom Stroganoff*

*Meat Disclaimer: We have a bunch of Earth Fare grassfed ground beef left over from the weekend that we will be eating to avoid it going bad. Other than that, we will stick to local-only!